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When the thought was expressed that there might be a God personal to me this feeling was intensified. I acquired the impeccable coat of tan one sees upon the well-to-do. New stories have been added to …
I forgot the strong warnings and the prejudices of my people concerning drink.
I was not an atheist. Particularly was it imperative to work with others as he had worked with me.
I had to be, for I was hopeless.He talked for hours. At these informal gatherings one may often see from 50 to 200 persons. As I drank, the old fierce determination to win came back.We went to live with my wife’s parents. The word God still aroused a certain antipathy. That was the last honest manual labor on my part for many a day. A morning paper told me the market had gone to hell again. His roots grasped a new soil.Despite the living example of my friend there remained in me the vestiges of my old prejudice. Well, so had I. K
No—not now. My brain raced uncontrollably and there was a terrible sense of impending calamity. In no time I was beating on the bar asking my- self how it happened. Then came the night when the physical and mental torture was so hellish I feared I would burst through my window, sash and all.
Certainly I was interested. I stood in the sunlight at last.It was only a matter of being willing to believe in a Power greater than myself.
It was eight o’clock—five hours after the market closed. How could there be so much of precise and immutable law, and no intelligence? Few people really are, for that means blind faith in the strange proposition that this universe originated in a cipher and aimlessly rushes nowhere. Would I have it? God comes to most men gradually, but His impact on me was sudden and profound.For a moment I was alarmed, and called my friend, the doctor, to ask if I were still sane. Of course I would!Thus was I convinced that God is concerned with us humans when we want Him enough. I had often pondered these things. An all night place supplied me with a dozen glasses of ale. We covered the whole eastern United States in a year. Alcohol was my master.Trembling, I stepped from the hospital a broken man. By Alcoholics Anonymous ; No Comments ; War fever ran high in the New England town to which we new, young officers from Plattsburg were assigned, and we were flattered when the first citizens took us to their homes, making us feel heroic. 1
At long last I saw, I felt, I believed. Now I was to plunge into the dark, joining that endless procession of sots who had gone on before.
I was staring at an inch of the tape which bore the inscription XYZ-32. That disgusted me. Marty Mann (1904–1980) wrote the chapter "Women Suffer Too" in the second through fourth editions of the Big Book. The courage to do battle was not there. He could not, or would not, see our way of life.There is, however, a vast amount of fun about it all. S
Somehow I managed to drag my mattress to a lower floor, lest I suddenly leap. Despite contrary indications, I had little doubt that a mighty purpose and rhythm underlay all.
At the end of it, my reports to Wall Street procured me a position there and the use of a large expense account. I had friends whom were in recovery and it … L
It had been 52 that morning. Big Book Online (PDF) of Alcoholics Anonymous. Chapter 1: Bill' Story AA Big Book.
AA Big Book Chapter 1 – Bill’s Story . Perhaps I could help some of them. I could almost hear the sound of the preacher’s voice as I sat, on still Sundays, way over there on the hillside; there was that proffered temperance pledge I never signed; my grandfather’s good natured contempt of some church folk and their doings; his insistence that the spheres really had their music; but his denial of the preacher’s right to tell him how he must listen; his fearlessness as he spoke of these things just before he died; these recollections welled up from the past. January 13, 2014 Assignment #1 AA BIG BOOK SUMMARIES By: Jessica Hosking Chapter 1 Bills story: The impact Bill’s story had on me personally: I can relate to a time in my life when I had everything going well for me and my habit got the best of me and caused me to lose my employment. Childhood memories rose before me.
The 4th edition (2001) is also freely available online. I could laugh at the gin mills. A new world came into view.The real significance of my experience in the Cathedral burst upon me. There had been much happiness after all. Faith without works was dead, he said. I felt lifted up, as though the great clean wind of a mountain top blew through and through. I was shocked, but interested. That was a hard thought. I would not jump. But that was as far as I had gone.To Christ I conceded the certainty of a great man, not too closely followed by those who claimed Him. Anything is better than the way you were.” The good doctor now sees many men who have such experiences. It contains the 12 steps that are at the core of the Alcoholics Anonymous program, as well as stories about alcoholics who have been through the recovery process. Our struggles with them are variously strenuous, comic, and tragic. I suppose some would be shocked at our seeming worldliness and levity. And how appallingly true for the alcoholic! Home; AA Big Book; Chapter 1: Bill' Story; Chapter 1 Bill's Story.
Should I kill myself? New stories have been added to the personal histories. Sometimes I stole from my wife’s slender purse when the morning terror and madness were on me. One poor chap committed suicide in my home.